a night in the city

OHH MY. It has been sooooooooooooooo long between posts. Every time I start a new entry it seems like i have been saying this. Fair call though since I have actually been taking way tooooo long. I'm sure if anybody was actually reading this, they would have given up looking for updates. I'm sorry. I hope you have found some better and more exciting blog.

So last night I had my work christmas party at some joint in the docklands so a few co-workers and myself decided to book an apartment to stay in so we didn't have to bother finding a way home. The apartment was conveniently located in the Docklands, walking distance from the venue.

Heres a view from outside our balcony:

Such a nice view. Going new places is an amazing thing. I mena yeah it's only Melbourne in some apartment but for some reason it can recapture the feeling of holidays far far away.

I wish I could have lived in this place. Two bedroom and 2 bathrooms and a kinda modern feel to it. It was pretty good for $290 a night. 
Here are some more pics

 

 

 A dude brought his PS3 so we could drink and play Modern Warfare 2 before the festivities began. What a great idea. So fucking cool

I thought it was kinda weird that some super nice apartment would have this weird kinda painting that my grandma would have in her house. Maybe they were trying to be ironic or something. Blew my feeble little humanoid mind. ARGHGHG

Let's talk Jalapeño's

Now I'm not entirely sure when I was first introduced to these bite sized pieces of culinary gold but let's just say since the beginning of our relationship, my passion for these babies has burned as hot as the sun itself.

I can eat these things on just about anything, from pizzas to sandwiches or even garnishing my weekly ice-cream sundae.

Hey bacon man, I'm gonna eat your face off!!

 Dear diary..... Wait, what? That's not right.

Today I woke up pretty early which is strange because I went to bed fairly late the night before. Usually I can waste my boring days away by sleeping in till 11 or 12 but today I awoke just before 10 with a feeling of vigour and splendidness that couldn't be quelled.

I decided to actually make breakfast for once. Just a bacon sandwich, nothing too taxing.

Let's take a minute to really appreciate bacon. I mean what makes it so great? Is it the saltiness, the meatyness or the unhealthyness. Possibly all of the above. Something about is just right.

home made pizza and weekends squandered

Again let me apologise for never updating. I think a big part of not updating a whole lot is not knowing weather or not people actually read this thing. I'm mainly updating today to keep Sida happy. Also maybe to keep others happy.
I would really love to know if anyone who isn't a friend of mine is actually reading this. My email address is as follows: bring_your_board@hotmail.com. Feel free to add me on msn or send me an email or whatever.

So tonight for dinner is home made pizza. Inc. cheese, jalepenos, salami and onion. It's in the oven as i type this. Maybe i'll take a pic for you sexy readers. Probably not. Sorry. Not really.

While everyone is out enjoying their hot hot weekend I will be slaving away at my job the whole time. Now when i say "slaving away," I mean not really doing that much. It is a great job for a lazy person.
Sory I have no interesting pics for this post. I'll leave you with something I found the other day.

A long weekend full of friendship, love and alcohol fueled midget beatings

Before you get upset there was no actual midget beatings. I'm sorry to lead you on like that. In fact I'm not even sure the term 'midget' is politically correct to begin with. It's been a pretty huge weekend and I must say I'm fairly tired. Since I was required to work until 9 on Friday and work also on Saturday I decided to keep it low key and not drown my sorrows in alcohol fuelled debauchery.
Saturday night was slightly more interesting with it being halloween and all that. It seems, year by year, that halloween is rapidly growing larger and larger. I guess I can see why, I mean why wouldn't you want to dress up and get silly and have fun. That being said i didn't really dress up myself because I'm a lazy shit. That doesn't mean I can't enjoy the festivities. To be fair on myself I did wear a creepy mask.

The beard and long hair weren't actually part of the mask. I stole that from Jesus. Thanks Claudia for providing this photo with terrifying lurker status. 

Sunday was recovery day. Here'a some pics of what 3 bored and hung over guys can accomplish.

This lovely rendering of yours truly was done by a friend of mine. Thanks Boucher.

We spent the night eating pizza which was very delicious. What more could a person ask for. In case you're wondering it was topped with half Americana and half Satay Chicken.
So that was Sunday night. Some other shit happened on Monday night and Tuesday but right now I cannot be bothered typing about it.

Attack of the Giant Earwax

Ok this is some next level, kind of gross shit but hey, it's life. So the other day I was cleaning my ears with your standard run of the mill ear bud/cleaner things. Apparently they aren't great to use and can cause damage to your ears. I'm not sure how factual this is but it seems to make sense. I mean, it can't be great to be jabbing around there with a pointy little poker not really knowing what you're doing.
Long story short I pulled the biggest grossest chunk of earwax out of one ear. Normally I think on a scale of dirty to clean, I have pretty good ears. You know how sometimes you are out and about and happen to look inside someone's ear and it's like this fucking disgusting cavern of yellow orange goo. I mean. holy shit don't they ever clean their ears. They are probably partially deaf from having it so full of that shit. 
First thing I thought when i pulled out the earbud was, "Holy shit! This is going in my blog."
So here it is in all it's disgusting glory.

Since You've Been Gooooooooone

I know I know what you're thinking. "Jesus christ Evan, why haven't you been blogging I need my fix?"
Well you can just shut the fuck up right now, ok? Hopefully you can recall the clever title of this blog. What else did you expect? Ok, I'm sorry for telling you to shut the fuck up. I didn't mean it, really I swear.
Well, let's put all of this unpleasantness behind us and start looking forward to some tasty little morsels of bloggy goodness soon to follow.
See you soon

Love
Evan XOXOXOXOX

Bedroom from hell

I took some photos of my room last night because it's incredibly dirty.

I think my main problem here is clothing. There is just way too much of it and I can't seem to drive myself to put it away. Also there is a basket full of ironing up to my waist. Fuck. Oh well.

Adjective of the week

HYPERREAL
hyperreal [ˌhaɪpəˈrɪəl]

adj

1. (Fine Arts & Visual Arts / Art Terms) involving or characterized by particularly realistic graphic representation

2. (Sociology) (Philosophy) distorting or exaggerating reality

3. (Sociology) (Philosophy) pertaining to or creating a hyperreality

 

Here's some graphic representations thanks to google images

 

S-s-s-s-Sundaaaaayyy Fuuuuunnnday

This was the first Sunday I've had off in quite a while (fucking retail). I must say it was a delectably delightful.
My partners in crime were Stevens, Joshua and later on the one and only Nash.
Fun times were had over a tasty lunch of a 6" tuna sub with lettuce, tomato, cucumber, pickle, onion and jalapeno peppers. It was incredibly tasty and wholesome. Don't forget the italian herb bread.

I could barely get my mouth around the thing (lol). Its was stuffed full of vegetable goodness.

After lunch we ventured to Nash's house and played 2 thrilling games of darts. In the second I lost for the first time in 4 games. It was shattering and I'm not quite sure if I will ever recover from the shameful defeat or Josh's hurtful illustration of myself.

Sat night

Well it's that time of the day again. Flicking aimlessly through your daily websites, blogs and hardcore pornography and you happen across a brand spanking new post from your lazy overlord.
Saturday night was a relatively quiet one for myself. As opposed to painting the town red and spending waaaaay too much money I decided to go to the movies with a few sexy friends (you know who you are).
Now going to to the movies is never as exciting as going to the movies at The Astor. This is a single screen theatre which was built in the 1930's os it has this amazing old school cinematic vibe. It's double story as well so you have balcony seats and floor seats. The cool thing about this place is that it plays double features of movies you couldn't usually see at the cinemas. Also they have a cat which walks around the joint.

These pictures don't do the cinema justice. Its has such an awesome vibe. If you have ever been there you would understand what I'm talking about.

The two movies we saw were: Ponyo and Nausicaa of the Valley of the Wind. Both of which are anime movies from the acclaimed Hayao Miyazaki. Fortunately I had not seen either of these. They were pretty good but honestly I don't think double features are for me. A bit too long.

Regardless, the night was enjoyable and the company was great.

Walkin the dawg

As some people may know, we are selling our family homestead which really sucks because it means I have to move out and find somewhere to live. Anyway's some jerks were coming to look at our house today so I decided to go and take the dog for a walk otherwise I'd have to be there while they snoop around my house and listen to my dog going ballistic out in the backyard. I set off towards the back of Wyndham Vale so I could let my dog run around in the vacant (but soon to be super built-up shit hole dog box housing area) fields.
About 800 metres from my house it started to rain a little bit. I put my hood on and decided that the rain was heavy enough to continue. After a minute it started to get pretty heavy with no signs of letting up so I decided to wait under a tree for a little bit.
This is where I encountered the biggest cat I have ever seen.

The thing was fucking huuuuuuuuuuge. I thought it was a miniature bear. I think Zeena was pretty concerned as well. I thought it might scratch her face off so I kept her away from it.

Here's Zeena looking a little frightened

I thought it might be a good idea to get moving as the rain was letting up slightly. As we began walking it started pouring down rain. I ran for a bit but couldn't keep up with Zeena so I stopped beside a fence. (the rain was coming at such an angle it actually offered some protection.

I pretty much did a combination run/walk all the way home and was soaked through by the time I got there.
It sucked

Dinna Winna

I mostly can't be fucked cooking because I'm a lazy shit, but it's something that has to be done or I won't eat and neither will my dad and that wouldn't be very good now would it. Like most lazy people I leave cooking to until the very last minute and we end up eating later than usual, which I think is the reason why what I cook is usually pretty good. You see? eh eh.
So tonight I cooked crumbed pork with cabbage salad. According to nine msn recipes (which is where I usually find the stuff I cook) it's an Asian/Japanese/Modern Australian dish. Wrap your head around that one folks.
I didn't take many pics this time because I forgot/cbf. Also this was my first time crumbing stuff so it was pretty fun.
First i took 400g of pork loin steaks (yum yum). Smashed them until they were a bit thinner and stuff.
Then you dunk them into some flour, then into and egg smooshed up into a bowl, then in your bread crumbs.

That's my little crumbing station. looks kinda seedy.

After you crumb the shit outta your junk. whack it on a plate(any colour) and frisbee into the fridge(door open).

Once thats done, you take like a quarter of a cabbage and mulch that shit up and then grate a carrot into it. toss it a bit(lol) and then squeeze a whole lemon over it. Then toss some more.

Here is the crumbed pork and the cabbage salad mixtureeeeeeeeee.

I then cooked up some of that packet rice stuff on my ovenator 2009 because i didn't think the other stuff was enough. this is just a little bit of extra bonus. Start cooking the rice stuff before you start frying up your pork.

When the rice stuff is almost done you should start on the pork because they are both going on the same plate at the same time so you can eat them both.

Put a whole nice hit of oil in the pan so its all oily like. then crank it up. Once its nice and hot slam in your crumbed pork. It doesn't have to cook very long otherwise the pork will be tough as shit. Just make sure its nice and brown and crunchy on the outside. Don't worry about getting worms from not cooking pork  enough. (IDK if that can acutally happen. I think I heard it somewhere. Probably anit-pork types spreading hurtful rumours about the delicious creature). Anyways now im off track.

Now that your pork is cooked you want to put your salad stuff on the plate then slice up the pork and place it nice and fancy-like on top on it. Then just whack your rice on the plate and you're golden.

So tasty and very filling too. Also pretty easy for you lazy shits.

Thursday Grill'd

It's been a while since my last post. Already getting lazy, this was inevitable folks. Oh well. ummmmmmm, do de do de do. Yeah, so last Thursday I went out and had Grill'd burger for the first time ever. It was actually pretty delicious, pretty pricey also.
Here's a shitty pic of the outside

It's a bit blurry because I was standing at the lights and had to start crossing. Also I thought I looked like a bit of a dickhead standing out the front of some burger place taking a photo with my phone.

That was the burger I had. I think it was called the pickled mustard burger or something very similar. It contained one lean meat patty, tomato, a shit load of lettuce, cheese and you guessed it, pickles and mustard. Tasty tasty burger. I would probably eat there again. Also the service was good and all the workers were friendly.

Here's a couple more pics of my companions.

 

Dinner Time - Paella Time

Last night I cooked dinner and it was pretty fantastic. I wouldn't call myself a great cook since all I make is shit that you can just chuck in together and cook for a while and it usually turns out ok. the dish in question is Paella.
For those of you playing at home (have I already used that) paella is a spanish rice dish that usually involves an ass load of seafood. I don't like seafood so I replaced it with chicken and chorizo sausage.

All you have to do first is chop up some carrots, a brown onion, a red capsicum and 1 chorizo sausage. 

Also these babies. Chic peas are the best.

After that you fry all that stuff up in some oil until the veggies get kinda soft.

Then you smash in your 400g of chicken all cut upand also 2 cloves of crushed garlic, 1 teaspoon of tumeric and 2 teaspoons of paprika. once the chicken is cooked a bit then you pop in 2 1/2 cups of chicken stock and 2 cups of ummmmmmm, what's it called? Arborio rice. then cook that untill it starts to bubble/boil.

once thats done, just throw it all into some kind of oven baking dish thing that's big enough to hold it all and chop up a lemon to put over the op of it. also cover it with aluminum foil and such. cook it for about 30 mins

whilst you are waiting you can enjoy a tasty mexican beer

all the rice should have puffed up and not be hard and crunchy. then you can eat it.

My First Krush

Yesterday I had a KFC Krush. The only reason I bought it was because I had a coupon for one with a free regular chips. Also I was curious as to how they tasted. I had the mango/wildberry ice 'Krush.' Honestly it wasn't fantastic. kind of dull flavour. Perhaps the other styles are better but idk. Probably wouldn't buy another one. Although I wouldn't vomit if you made me drink one.

shameless advertising for Ted's right there. I'm being paid $50,000 for this blog post. Yeah I'm a sellout. fuck you

Kids say the darndest things

Today I have a day off work. Pretty sweet huh? Yeah I thought so too. I was rummaging around in some cupboard looking for nothing in particular when i happened across this gem.

I have no idea how old I was when I produced this amazing piece but I'm guessing I was fairly young. What I don't completely understand is that it's a father's day card to my dad and I'm telling him not to pick his nose like my dad. It's a bit weird.
Maybe I had some secret second dad who was a notorious nose treasure hunter. Who knows?